The End.(?)

The 3^rd March was possibly the worst day of my entire life. When my dad dropped me off at work and said “I will see you at 8, hopefully” I thought nothing of it because as far as I was aware there was absolutely nothing wrong in our family life. Boy was I wrong. When my dad picked me up from work at 8pm he asked me how my day was I said fine and asked him how his was, expecting a "yeah, okay" in reply. That was not the case. Instead he pulled the car over in the carpark and began to apologize to me, telling me he didn't want me to hate him but he had decided to leave my mum. I felt numb, I still feel numb. I wanted to cry but I just couldn't find any tears. We sat and talked about it and I told him I could never hate him because he's my dad at the end of the day. When I got home I sat with my mum and cried, a hell of a lot, she was just as shocked as me. I didn't know what to do with myself, what to think. Are we going to have to sell the house? Where will my dad go? How on earth will we get through this!?  It was hard for my mum and dad to come to the decision that dad should stay at my grandma's (his mums) because there was no cheating involved and there is no one else involved so it was hard for my mum to scream, shout and kick him out so he stayed last night, but slept downstairs. 

This morning me and mum went out to tell my grandma and granddad (her mum and dad) and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to listen to. I have never heard my mum cry so hard and so much when she told my granddad and he just comforted her and asked all the questions he needed to. I cried whilst I told my grandma and made her promise me that she would stay strong for my mum like I am trying so hard to do. I was so proud that my grandma barely cried a tear, despite how upset she is, just for my mum. My mum needs me now more than she has ever needed me before. I never in 3 million years thought this was ever going to happen with my family but it has and I just don't know what to do now. Because of this there is no longer going to be adoption which has devastated us all but it would be completely unfair to bring a child into a situation like this nor would social services even let it happen. I am sorry to anyone who was following for the adoption stuff. 

In all honesty I know in the long run we will all be completely fine but for now I guess we are all adjusting to the initial shock and change. I'm not sure how many blog posts will be up this week because I'm not feeling motivated to blog but I guess it will help distract me a little. I don't want anyone to think I am attention seeking, I just really needed to get this all out somewhere where I'm not looking at a crying face. If you aren't interested in this then sorry! 

XO