Monday, 20 February 2012

Adoption: Preparation Classes

I'm sorry if these aren't the sort of post you are interested in but it was kind of the reason I started my blog so I'm going to keep up with it, X out if you aren't interested. I haven't done an adoption post in ages, not because I have neglected them but because the process got longed out by social services cancelling the original dates of the preparation classes in November due to there not being enough people attending (stupid reason if you ask me) and moved it to the end January & February. 


For those of you that don't know the preparation classes are basically a four day course that basically, in my mums words, "Tells you that all your parenting skills are wrong and they teach you how to be a parent again." because a lot of the adopted children have problems that you have to deal with in different ways. For example you can't tell some children to go and sit on the naughty step and tell them to think about what they have done wrong because in most cases they wont know what they've done, instead you have to sit with them in a thinking zone and talk to them about what they did in a calm way so they know that what they have done is wrong but don't feel like you hate them for doing it, I guess its understandable. The classes, like most things, told my parents about all the 'worst case scenarios' for the children and their behaviour which is how they are designed as yes it may scare people and make them think they aren't cut out to deal with adopting a child and cause them to drop out, but to be honest social services only want people who are know in their heart that they are cut out to deal with what will or could happen in their family life. Also, they were told that you can't tell an adopted child that they can't do something like smoke or drink, you just have to advise them.  
After each class my parents had to fill out a sheet on what they thought of each session which are sent to our social worker, who is the nicest person!, they also had a work book that had to be filled out throughout the sessions which was massive, I guess that gets sent away to be looked at by the social workers and kept in their file. The groups for the classes were really small with only 5 or 6 couples per class. There was 4 couples who had no children, one couple who were already fostering a child and were going through the process to fully adopt him and my parents who, obviously, have a child of their own which they said made them feel a bit out of place, like some of them were judging them for being selfish for wanting to adopt despite having a child of their own. Of course there is always that one person who thinks their ideas are the best and everyone else is wrong, she sounded annoying. 
I don't want to go on and on about it so that was just a quick summary, next up is a meeting with the social worker about their observations of mum and dad during the sessions. 
Until then you will have to make do with my beauty/fashion posts! 
XO

11 comments:

  1. I love hearing your updates, i've never known anyone to go through this process so it's great to hear from someone going through it. Sounds like it's a slow process though, although I can see why they feel they need to. Hopefully things are going in the right direction!

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  2. Love reading these updates too..you wouldn't think so much has to be done and what process people go through! :)

    Zara
    x

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  3. Its really interesting to find out how the whole adoption process works! I really do wish you and your family all the best with it! Xx

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    1. Thank you very much, it means a lot X

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  4. This is a really interesting post, and I'm glad you posted it as I had never known about how this works, and I really enjoyed reading it. Learnt something new with this and I hope the best for you and your family :)

    Charlee
    xxx

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  5. Wow I had no idea how involved the process of adoption was. This is a real eye opener for me. It is really good to learn this as it is something I have thought about doing. Thanks for the post and just about to check out your past adoption posts.
    Stace x

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  6. This is such an amazing, personal and lovely post. I never knew there was so much involved. I learnt something from this!
    x

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  7. Thank you so much for all the nice comments, glad I'm teaching people things too :) X

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  8. Wow, it's so interesting to hear the different stories about these couples. Great post !

    xoDale
    http://www.savvyspice.net/

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  9. Woooah the whole process sounds so strict, bit insane but probably done for the right reasons.
    & some people can be so stuck up, so what if your parents already have a kid! It sounds as though they feel like there aren't enough kids to go round and they will miss out, jeeeesh.
    Love these updates, glad it's going well so far! Good luck for the next meeting :)
    xxx

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